75 years young.Using device to massage prostate as can not have erection because of prostate Cancer and radiation treatment.Do have organism using this device.Anyone understand?|||i live with total ED. my wife has tried using the gismo you write about. it feels good but never with enough intensity for me to ejaculate. at first, i thought the procedure was gay-like and it turned me off. my urologist assured me straight men use this gadget to get off. once i relaxed it did feel pleasurable. to date, the only thing coming out of my penis is tons of pre-c–. no rockets yet!|||NO|||this is what your doctors are for!!|||completely no|||If your having %26quot;organism%26#039;s%26quot; instead of %26quot;orgasms%26quot; you need to re-consult with your Dr.|||No you will not

i am 34, only child, and daddy%26#039;s lil girl…atleast i thought til 11pm tonite.i was talkin to my dad and just casually mentioned that he got married to the woman he is been dating for 15 yrs. Now mind u nobody knew..or so i didnt know. Plus, he just told me he had prostate Cancer on Jan. 1st 2007. plus he goes to surgery on friday…so i asked why the marriage now ..my first thought was that he is farther gone with the Cancer then he is letting on..to be 52 damn near 53 yrs old and going out to get married without anybody knowing..he said they had been planning it…what the h—!!! and u didnt tell your only babygurl? even though i am not real fond of the mate now wife. but even so, to say lookahear im getting marrried and thats final..would have been better than =basiclally %26quot;we eloped%26quot;…i am hurt..do u think i should be and how would u handle it? i am scared that he is sicker than letting on. what should i do? .i know i am spoiled so that%26#039;s not the answer or suggestion.|||i know just how you feel, my dad got married in 2000, and didn%26#039;t tell me until after, and even then it was by way of text message whilst he was on honeymoon.

apparently his new wife was afraid that we%26#039;d object to the wedding, so neither my sister or i were invited. her son however was. i am still really pissed about this but at the end of the day as long as he is happy that is all that really matters. i get along okayish with the woman, but that is it. oh he was about 47 or 48 when he did this.

to be honest having spent time with them both i think that they are more life long companions than a married couple.

i think you should concentrate more on being there for your dad right now. he may feel that because of his illness a %26#039;quite wedding%26#039; was a more appropriate option. when he is better - and he will get better, maybe he and his new wife might like to re - do their wedding vow%26#039;s in front of family and friends, and have a real party.

everthing will work out for the best. i%26#039;m sure. all the best maria X|||Let him love his Life. You have yours! You have his Love? You have your happiness. My Little Girl, turns 30, this Year. She%26#039;s not wanting me to hold off on happiness. Neither should you. Shout out to Father, on the Cancer. I wish him the Best!|||You%26#039;re spoiled, and you%26#039;re a crappy person. Let your father have his happiness. Why would you mar that? Why would you be a crappy person to the person who probably loves you the most on Earth? Jesus, but things in perspective. Take a deep breath and look around you.|||Girl ,please let your father enjoy whatever he likes, You mind your own life,you are grown up now . Please give space %26amp; have space.|||Its ok to be hurt because someone has come between you and your dad. If he is loosing his life he is merely reaching out and trying to relate as man to woman. There are things you cannot give him that she may. Yes, it would have been nice for him to let you know, but actually he doesn%26#039;t need your permission.|||It seems to me that it was his decision to make, and he obviously assumed that you wouldn%26#039;t approve, which is why he did it behind your back.

This doesn%26#039;t necessarily have anything to do with how sick he is (which is, by the way, by FAR the more important issue here). Be there for him, no matter what. Put aside your feelings, and try to empathize with his feelings.

He obviously wants to be as happy as he can, given his circumstances. Stop worrying about your own hurt, and be with him to help him through his pain.

Yes, springing a sudden marriage on you was wrong, but should that matter in the face of a life-threatening disease? Now is the time to grow out of your %26quot;spoiled%26quot; phase into a more nurturing role for him.|||A similar thing happened to me, and I was very shocked, as you are, at first. But as you weren%26#039;t there, you don%26#039;t know the details of why they chose to get married in private. It%26#039;s his life and you must respect that. Wish him well and do your best to get along with his new wife.|||let him go what he wants , much better there will be 1 to cared him , not u will be the 1 to care him|||I would be hurt too! I don%26#039;t understand why people go out and get married without even telling their kids about it. It%26#039;s selfish and hurtful and causes way too much confusion. Shame on your father and his new wife for not telling you about this. Especially when I%26#039;m sure you%26#039;re already going through a lot of emotions with him having cancer and everything! He should have respected you and your feelings and told you about his marriage. I know some people will say %26quot;it%26#039;s his life%26quot; but you are a very big part of it being Daddy%26#039;s Little Girl.|||I am sure he knew you wouldn%26#039;t approve, and just didn%26#039;t want the headache or the hassle of dealing with any drama beforehand. Also, a wedding isn%26#039;t that big of a deal to lots of men (and some women) It%26#039;s not like he threw an extravaganza and you weren%26#039;t invited! It may have even been a spur of the moment decision, seeing as how they%26#039;ve been together quite a while. So get over being hurt and deal with it like a mature woman instead of a little girl.

As for the cancer, hopefully that will be fine. Many men get a complete cure from prostrate cancer, and there%26#039;s no reason to think your father won%26#039;t be just as fortunate. Good luck to him and his new wife, and to you as well!|||Give him a break. He obviously married this woman out of love. He seems to have a few things on his mind right now. Might be he realizes you aren%26#039;t really crazy about his new wife.

Starbucks uses milk from cows that are injected with a genetically engineered, artificial hormone called recombinant bovine growth hormone, also known as rBGH or rBST.

The problem is, this hormone is known to cause harm to cows and may pose harm to humans. Use of rBGH can contribute to the growth of antibiotic resistant bacteria. rBGH increases the rate of udder infections in cows, which are then treated with antibiotics. Use of rBGH could also pose a cancer risk to people. Injections of rBGH increase another hormone, called IGF-1, in the cow and the cow%26#039;s milk. Too much IGF-1 in humans is linked with increase rates of colon, breast, and prostate cancer.

This hormone is banned in Canada, Japan, Australia, New Zealand, and all 25 countries of the European Union. And until we can get it banned in the U.S., we need to urge major food producers to use safer milk. Starbucks has already increased its use of hormone-free milk to 37% based on activist letters and calls. Let%26#039;s keep up the pressure - sign the petition today to urge Starbucks to use milk that is free of artificial hormones!|||Starbucks has lobbyists and tons of cash. Democracy is dead, American government is run by figure heads… behind the scenes, the immense powers of capitalism pull all the strings. Starbucks would rather spend millions to prove recombinant hormones are safe than to spend a few more cents on sourcing rBGH free milk.|||And your proof of this is…..

Give it a rest!|||Because the US only cares about making a PROFIT. It%26#039;s all about $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$|||As long as Monsanto continues to have such a huge influence in Congress, it will be very hard to pull RBGH from our shelves. Corporations run our government because they buy Congressmen through huge political donations. As long as the money keeps flowing from Monsanto to them, we keep getting screwed. The fact that all those countries ban this hormone and ours doesn%26#039;t is proof of how corrupt and deceitful our system of government is. Your petition may sway Starbucks to make changes but that is just the tip of the iceberg. You will need legislation to get wholesale changes made with all the milk we drink and with Monsanto%26#039;s pull in Congress, good luck with that.|||Why in the world are you worried about hormones

in your milk? You eat the cow who%26#039;s had alot of

drugs injected into it so it can be safe for you to eat…

You eat alot of cow injected drugs…

why care if you drink alot of drug injected milk?|||RBGH is very tasty!|||The key word in your question is %26quot;may%26quot;. There is no data to suggest that the stuff is in fact harmful to humans. Other countries have a tendency to ban anything that even remotely appears to be possibly harmful. irrespective of the economic consequences as well as of any truth in such suspicions.

Starbucks uses milk from cows that are injected with a genetically engineered, artificial hormone called recombinant bovine growth hormone, also known as rBGH or rBST.

The problem is, this hormone is known to cause harm to cows and may pose harm to humans. Use of rBGH can contribute to the growth of antibiotic resistant bacteria. rBGH increases the rate of udder infections in cows, which are then treated with antibiotics. Use of rBGH could also pose a cancer risk to people. Injections of rBGH increase another hormone, called IGF-1, in the cow and the cow%26#039;s milk. Too much IGF-1 in humans is linked with increase rates of colon, breast, and prostate cancer.

This hormone is banned in Canada, Japan, Australia, New Zealand, and all 25 countries of the European Union. And until we can get it banned in the U.S., we need to urge major food producers to use safer milk. Starbucks has already increased its use of hormone-free milk to 37% based on activist letters and calls. Let%26#039;s keep up the pressure - sign the petition today to urge Starbucks to use milk that is free of artificial hormones!|||Sounds more like a political issue or opinion being tossed around. Providing scientific documented facts would help establish your case.|||I had no idea of that. Thanks

I have been %26quot;told%26quot; to get a biopsy of my prostate. However, as I have never had any kind of surgical procedure performed on my body, I am very worried, and apprehensive of the RECTAL invasion and possible consequences; even thought prostate CANCER is something to worry about! My age, 63|||Do it! My doctors kept putting off even mentioning this test. I%26#039;m now 66 and hope to see 67. For over ten years and three doctors, one finally said my PSA was high enough to have a biopsy done. Like you I was apprehensive about having my rectum invaded like this. It turned out to not be as bad as I expected, not something I care to do regularly.

My PSA in 1995 was 4.2 and my doctor gave me antibiotics to see if it would come down. It did and everytime my PSA went up, here came the antibiotics. Last year, I went on Medicare and my PSA was again 4.2. This doctor said it%26#039;s not high enough to worry about yet.

I changed insurance and doctors in January. When my PSA came back at 4.3 in February, my new doctor insisted I have a biopsy. This was done in a Urologists office with no drugs. I was relived when it was over. Now came the hard part, waiting for the results.

Out of all the cores they took, my cancer was in 85% of them. My Gleason score is 9 (4+5). The only scores worse than that is 9 (5+4) and 10 (5+5). I have a very aggressive form of prostate cancer. My only treatment is to have 42 extrernal beam radiation sessions over an eight and one-half week period. While they are burning my rectum, I%26#039;m also having hormone shots to block my testersone, that%26#039;s what makes you a man. In three months I%26#039;ll under go another biopsy, to see if I will need to have radioactive seeds implanted in what%26#039;s left of my prostate. At this point removal, for me, is not an option.

Removal is the desired treatment since removing the prostate cancels any worry of cancer if the cancer has not spread beyond the prostate. If it has, you must continue on with radiation. With the prostate gone your PSA will now be Zero.

As Larry, the Cable Guy says, %26quot;Get R Done%26quot;

Additional thoughts: I attended a seminar on Prostate cancer treatments to hear a doctor mention he had a 42 year old patient with a PSA of 2.5 and a Gleason score of 10. PSA isn%26#039;t always the answer, the Gleason score, can only be found with a biopsy, is the answer.|||A man your age needs to be checked. The older the greater the chances. GO TO THE DOCTOR!!!!!!!|||For your age group, the adjusted normal PSA range is 0-4.5.

The ultimate decision %26quot;to do or not to do%26quot; a biopsy is of course up to you - no one including your doctor or family has the right to make you accept or refuse the procedure. However, consider this:

Biopsy is the single most definitive diagnostic procedure for most types of cancer.

I.e. nothing else can give you a more confident %26quot;yes%26quot; or %26quot;no%26quot; answer to your worries. Blood tests, scans and even manual (digital) rectal exam are simply not reliable enough.

No invasive procedures are without risks - even drawing a blood sample has risks involved. But the procedure (biopsy) is pretty safe especially if it%26#039;s a needle biopsy. If you decide to do it and want an extra margin of safety, request to schedule it on the day when the performing facility/doctor is the least busy, maybe middle of the week?

Good luck!|||0-4.5 PSA is the range. Anything over that, and I would get the biopsy. I had a biopsy when my reading was 12.5. The Urologist administered a local anesthetic and the pain of the biopsy needles were not so bad. He took 12 core samples. Unfortunately, for me, the results showed cancer. I had my prostate removed. Three years cancer free. Get it done, do not mess with your life. Prostate cancer is a slow developing cancer.|||You might want to look into your PSA test results and discuss what they mean with your Doctor. Also there is another off label test called PCA3 that has some capability of determining if your Prostate cancer is an aggressive form or not.

In any case do not be afraid to discuss with your Doctor, a biopsy is not as bad as it may seem. Good luck and act soon.|||Get a check up anyway if you haven%26#039;t done that then if you are unsure of what the docs are telling you then get at least 3 opinions from 3 different doctors.|||I%26#039;ve had 2 , and will probably have another in a few months. While there is a risk, it is very ,very low.

Follow the dr%26#039;s instructions, you%26#039;ll be fine.

My last one was not to confirm cancer, but was to rule out cancer. No cancer, but i did have an infection. An Rx took good care of that.

Over 4 and the docs start to worry.|||More important than the PSA itself is what the value is doing. 0.0 - 4.0 is generally considered the reference range. One elevated reading is not necessarily a cause for concern unless the DRE revealed other abnormality. PSA velocity is generally the more important factor. Is the PSA going up and how quickly? A rise of .75 or greater in a year is when a closer look is needed.

Your urologist should provide you with a preparation kit and instructions. You should be off any blood thinners, aspirin, coumadin, etc. for at least 4 days (preferably 7 days) prior to the biopsy.

There are some real but uncommon risks. I have never had anyone develop any severe complications after the procedure. It is not uncommon to have blood in you urine and stool for a few days after. Drink lots of water and the will go away. You may also notice blood in your semen. Again, nothing to worry about but it could last a bit longer- sometimes over a month. If it is a problem, wear a condom.

My father has been battling prostate cancer for the past year and a half. Yesterday I was told he doesn%26#039;t have much time left. He%26#039;s 80 yrs old and it%26#039;s hard to deal with.

He will be in hospice care and hopefully that will be of some comfort for him.

I don%26#039;t know how to prepare. Can anyone help me out on this one? Have you been through something like this? I thank you in advance and appreciate your input.|||There are lots of people who can help you as you deal with the loss of your father. My Mum passed away a few years ago and we had to go through this, too.

First you should talk to your Dad about his wishes for a funeral, cremation, small service or whatever he would like. At times like these, these things can be important to your Dad. If he tells you to go ahead and he doesn%26#039;t really care, the funeral homes are great at arranging things and taking care of everything, too. However, he may wish to speak to his priest or minister.

At the hospice there are caring workers to help you deal with your grief, too. You can usually choose how much time you wish to spend with your Dad. You decide what is best for you.

You can bring in music that your Dad likes, food that he enjoys and he can decide his care, too.

I would tell all family members what is happening. They can be a great source of comfort and help to you at this time. Reach out to others now for help and support. Everyone, I found anyway, will be more than happy to help out.

Take time with your Dad because these times are the memories that you will have forever. I also found journalling helped me get through some rough days. I found some days to be so sad but I wanted to be by my Mum%26#039;s side as much as possible. My journal entries helped me unburden.

God Bless and I will pray for you.|||See him as often as you can. Talk to him. Let him know that you love him and you will be there for him. That%26#039;s about all you can do.|||I%26#039;m really sorry about that…and there is no way you%26#039;ll be ever prepare for something like this…ever…you do the best you can…spend as much time as possible with him, so you make sure that he has been loved and hopefully you get the same respond from him….everybody is going to die and I have to say being 80 years old is very wonderful…my mom passed away in age of 41…I was 19 but what hurts the most she had a 2 year old baby she had to leave behind and she didn%26#039;t want to…it is hard and nothing is going to make this easy…maybe just a thought that one day you%26#039;ll reunite..but till then there%26#039;s so much you can do with your life…|||See my question I just posted too. My father just passed away on 2/4/2008. He was 75.

Spend ALL the time you can with him. Even tho%26#039; you know his time is coming it still hurts. You can%26#039;t fully prepare….but have no regrets, love him, touch him, kiss him, talk to him, (even if you think he can%26#039;t understand or hear you).|||Honey the reason death is so hard on us is it was never intended for humans to die, We were to live forever until Adam and eve messed up. I know it will be hard loosing your daddy. But let me just tell you something.. I didn%26#039;t have a mother and a father they didn%26#039;t want me and my sister. Remember him as the wonderful daddy he was to you and thank god he gave you such a wonderful man to guide you through life and fill you with love. We all don%26#039;t have a daddy to miss… That%26#039;s the beauty in your story..YOU DO!!!|||I really don%26#039;t think there is any way to prepare to lose a parent, all I can tell you is to make a memory everyday, and let him know just how much you really love him, thank him for everything he has taught you over the years. And last but not least tell him its OK, and you will be OK. I know you are walking one of the hardest and longest paths in life, I too have walked this path. God Bless your in my thoughts and prayers.|||my dad died due to prostate cancer years ago. I was grief stricken but I eventually got over it. We all have to die some day. He just gone ahead of me as he came earlier than me. Do your best for him so you won%26#039;t regret when he%26#039;s gone. But don%26#039;t try to drag him on. Just let him go in peace. Let him know you love and appreciate him. If you are a Buddhist, try some chanting for him.|||Its never easy to lose some-one you Love.It is relly difficult on everyone concern,My heart goes out to you and your family..Everyone deal with this sort of thing in different ways…Some find it really hard to cope…..Others find it easier to keep busy…There are people at the Hospitals that are there to help people came to terms and prepare you for the worst and to help you deal with it all|||Spend as much time with him. My Gram was in the same situation a few years ago with Breast Cancer. I stayed with her, filed bankruptcy because I left my job, Hospice was great and I know she dyed happy.|||Hospice is so helpful since they will be certain he has morphine or other pain Rx to make him comfortable. It will be important for you to just comply with his wishes. In other words, does he want people around him or not. Some people do not like visitors. If he does want visitors, try to select times at short intervals like from 10-12 in the morning and 3 to 5 in the afternoon. Hopefully his will is taken care of. Let him be the one to bring up topics to discuss and try to not burden him with things he does not want to discuss. There is NO way you can prepare. It will b awful. But for now, put your smile on and give hugs to him. You will have lots of time to cry afterwards. I am sorry

Im 19 and I eat McDonalds ALOT, Seriously, more then 3 times a week,

Im not fat, but I do have a little bit of a spare tire, I dont exercisze, and Im not that strong, but I don%26#039;t work out so thats probibly it.

I know its not good for me, but its so cheap!!!

Im constantly afraid of heart conditions, Diabites, cancer, ect

In my family history i don%26#039;t know of any diabities or heart conditions, but My dad did tell me something about prostate cancer in our family. (like I should start geting checkups at 30 instead of 40)

How much danger am I in.|||McDonald%26#039;s is horrible for your health. I mean horrible. Did you know that one breakfast sandwich has all the suggested days worth of calories. Did you know they cook their fries in fake beef some kinda whatever oil? Did you know their ice cream is fake because if bubbles when it melts? Did you know even their %26quot;healthy%26quot; salads, still have a lot of sugar and fat in it? Have you ever seen a square fish? Did you know that their fries won%26#039;t grow mold, which means that it won%26#039;t digest in your stomach, sort of like a Twinkie. Did you know that the use all parts of the chicken including but not limited to the beak and feet, do you really want to eat that??

DO NOT BELEIVE THOSE COMERCIALS!!! Comercials are comercials. They will say whatever to get you to eat there. No matter how healthy or good or cheap it looks don%26#039;t go there.

I strongly encourage you to watch the movie %26quot;supersize me%26quot;. It shows the truth behind McDonalds. You should get the DVD, the special features are very informing.

As far as you saying you have a spare tire, go to the gym if you want to lose the weight and build muscle. If you don%26#039;t have a gym or recreation center near you, jog around your neighborhood.

I hope you take all this to heart and try to change your lifestyle. As long as you excercise, you should stay in could health. You should also get regular checkups at the doctor.|||try getting a side salad from mcdonalds off the dollar menu instead of greasy hamburgers or chicken nuggets. thats what i do because ive recently noticed how nasty mcdonalds food really is, and how bad it is for you.|||i don%26#039;t know|||you are in very much danger. instead of mcdonalds eat fruits,meat,vegies and drink lots of water and dont eat fast foods.excercise daily|||mc donalds is cheap, but it would be more affordable for you to go out and buy lunch meat, bread, fruit, pretzels, yougurt, etc. You can buy healthy food, that will last longer then a quick pit stop to mc donalds!|||if i were you id stop eating so much McNasty and eat healthy foods|||Quit McDonald%26#039;s before you cant stop eating it !!!!|||Go only twice a week. Eat a salad instead of a third visit one night a week.

McDonald%26#039;s cheap??? $10.95 for two burgers and a medium fries, no drink.

Salad, sliced hard boiled egg, salad dressing: $1.25 per serving.|||ROFL! It%26#039;s a heart attack on a bun. %26quot;It%26#039;s so cheap%26quot; Exactly, that%26#039;s what%26#039;s leading to the obesity problem: cheap, fast food that is drowned in fat, calories, and salt.|||Have you ever tried eating their salads or parfaits. Choose healthier meals from McDonald%26#039;s and you should be okay, but consider Subway sometime. 8]|||A meal at McDonald%26#039;s would probably have no more than a couple hundred calories more than a sandwich your mom would put together and that you would eat without question. As long as you don%26#039;t go in and gorge on 3 burgers, fries, and a super-sized softdrink you should be alright to eat there a few times a week.

If you are the type of person that goes in, eats a burger, then comes home and takes a nap, this is when you should be concerned about eating healthy.|||Watch SuperSize Me by Morgan Spurlock. It will answer all of your questions.|||its defiantly not the healthiest choice, you should be eating well balanced meals, salads and veggies and fruit. A burger 3 times a week with French fires is not a healthy meal. Mcdicks does have salads which is a good choice try that!!|||Well. You could have a fast metabolism. But just because your not fat now means that you won%26#039;t ever be. You might have like really high blood pressure or alot of salt in your blood. Chop down how much you eat from there. Switch to Subways or something, theyre actually really good. Watch %26quot;Supersize me.%26quot; Its about a guy who eats Mcdonalds everyday for every meal for like a few months, it may make you want to switch.

Hope this helps!|||i dont think mcdonalds will give you prostate cancer. as 4 the others, you should eat better, in theory. But eating at Mcdonalds will not cause you to get diabetes either. Heart conditions are debateable- hardening of the arteries, and high cholesterol will lead to major things.|||Say your prayers before you go to sleep tonight.|||it all just depends on what you are ordering. side salad or fries? grilled chicken sandwich or double cheeseburger? fruit and yogurt parfait or hot fudge sundae? just make healthier choices and remember to keep it in moderation.|||http://www.mcdonalds.com/app_controller….

this is their nutrition facts|||ok first everyone wants to downgrade mcdonalds. yes it isnt very good for u. yes it is unhealthy!!!! well, in my town there was one lady who actually won a place in the newspaper for losing weight and eating mcdonalds. so if i were u id jus go for the salads and the parfaits and the fish instead of the chicken nuggets ppl think are so healthy because their white meat but they dont realize that they are really fried in grease. newayz thas what i would do and go for the low fat dressing okay!!! other than that ur fine,.|||no offense, but i would suggest to stop eating mcdonalds quick. you should watch supersize me, its a movie about a guy that voluntarily went on a one month binge that ate nothing but mcdonalds and they compared him before and after. even thought mcdonalds is cheap, it still has its negatives, try just bringing cheap foods that you can find at your local food store such as trail mix or create your own salad, instead of the daily mcdonalds

later on, you might get heart disease because of all the greasy ness of the food.

i would say you%26#039;re in pretty bad danger cause in china (cause i%26#039;m chinese) and since i live in america obviously, i really don%26#039;t like the REAL chinese food cause i%26#039;m not used to it. i used to eat like w/e nothing or just like mcdonalds, the only size and smallest and largest size they have there for everything like french fries is the US%26#039;s small size =O the kids size =O hahaaha lol try going to china! it might help! i lost 5 lb there amazingly and actually, i kinda just ate mcdonalds occasionally =]|||Well you may want to change that you can get diabetes… Or food poisoning because they don%26#039;t have the greatest meat or food in the world… there%26#039;s also heart disease you may not be fat but the arteries in your heart can be clogging due to the high fat and calories of MC.Donald%26#039;s food so i would seriously think about something healthyer mabe subway or cook your own food you can buy at a store easy stuff! hope it helps|||in one big mac there is nearly one thousand calories and that is way more than you should eat normally, you have to eat around 5 times a day to have a healthy metabolism, which for me is around 500 calories each meal and i weigh 165 and I%26#039;m moderately active

I would suggest Subway to maintain a healthy weight but not to lose 500 billion pounds or wtvr i dont believe that BS, find out ur bmi and bmr sumthing like that and it will tell u wat u how many calories u should eat and u can also check mcdonalds.com to see wat are sum healthy choices to eat and study/google bad stuff like making sure you dont get too much of a bad thing that will have a bad risk of getting ill

hope i helped idk much but its enough for me

My father is dying, he is 73. I am the youngest of his sons, I am 36. He has probably less than 4 months left. I have not spoken to him or my step mother in years, we had a falling out, in which he said he never wanted to see me again.

I stayed away, moved, did not contact or stick my hand out at Christmas or anything, I broke clean and declared him dead then.

He got prostate cancer since then, it spread into his bones, liver, ect.

My stepmother went to my old roommates house, he called me, put her on the phone and she tried to guilt trip me, I told her i would not come and they both had made this choice and hung up.

I feel i made the right choice, knowing what my father has done in the past and what a hypocrite he is, I dont believe me going to his death bed would be a healthy thing for me.

I am catching flack for this choice from family members, so i am asking for opinions.

Thanks|||I would probably go there just for 5 minutes to say goodbye, regardless of the past.|||say goodbye even if it a few seconds just let him know u care!|||you have to talk to him its better now then never|||2 wrongs dont make a right, I think if you go say goodbye and forgive him for the way he has treated you, you will have more peace within. Good Luck…..|||I guess it depends on what he did to you, but maybe he wants to apologize before he dies and make peace with you. Maybe seeing him will make you angry but you will be sure you%26#039;ll never feel guilty for not seeing him.|||i think you should go seem him, at least once before he passes. if you don%26#039;t you will probably regret it once he has died.|||Your father probably wants to make peace with you since he is on his death bed. It would say a lot about your character if you buried the hatchet and went to see him. It would also prevent you from feeling the guilt later if you had not gone to see him.|||My best advice to you is that if you think this will not screw you up in the head years from now with guilt (which by the sounds of things I don%26#039;t think it will)…then you have an obligation to be true to yourself above all others

good Luck|||Don%26#039;t go for anybody else,but go for yourself. living everyday with regret is torture.|||I would say just go to say your goodbye. Your pops is gonna die one time and when he%26#039;s gone he ain%26#039;t coming back. I just hope you don%26#039;t let your ego make a big mistake. Would you want to see your children on your deathbed?|||Your father made his choice, and you made yours, and now he has regrets. Can you not at least reach out and let him die in peace? We are none of us perfect. His attempt to contact you shows he has regrets and would like to ask you for forgiveness before he dies. If you think you can let this go by without another thought, then you do not have to go.

I saw my mother do this same thing to her mother and behave as if her mother meant nothing to her, and my husband died without making peace with his mother. I have had many problems with my own mother, but I have made peace with her. I do not want to cause anyone any uneeded pain. Everyone handles their own pain differently, so I cannot say you are wrong.

I just wanted to tell you: My own father died with the same type of cancer as yours has. I wouldn%26#039;t wish cancer and the pain they experience dying from it on my worst enemy. Try to go see him.|||Set aside your feelings and go to see your Dad. This may be your final goodbye and if possible you may be able to talk about the issue that drove the wedge between you two.|||Well I don%26#039;t know the whole story with you and your father, but it must be a really bad one. He is afterall your father no matter what sort of falling out you had and I%26#039;m sure somewhere down the road if you don%26#039;t at least go and say goodbye that you will regret it. If not going to say goodbye for his sake…..do it for your own conscience. I really do believe in Karma….|||I know you%26#039;re angry, but I think you should be the bigger man and see him before he dies. Let go of your anger, and perhaps reconcile with him. Of course, you have the right to be angry since he practically disowned you. It is just healthier to at least put all the cards on the table before he dies instead of regretting it later, when perhaps it is too late.|||Yikes. I will just give my opinion on this. I think that if your father said that he never wanted to see you again while he was more healthy that was a bad move on his part. But I think it all boils down to the relationship that you have/had with your pops. If he was always an evil bastard towards you and treated you like **** than quite frankly I don%26#039;t think you should go see him. But if something major happened that caused this falling out maybe it%26#039;s time to forgive and forget and be with your father in his last moments. You may regret it who knows. As previously stated this is just my humble opinion.|||Stay honorable, go anyway, so this way there are no regrets. Get your own hotel room, or camp, so you can leave when you want, on your own terms.|||Well Bro. My Lord Taught..To Be Forgiven.

You Must Forgive.

It%26#039;s Your Choice.

%26quot;DAWG%26quot;|||Only you know exactly how you feel. If you feel comfortable with your decision and don%26#039;t feel you will have any later regrets then stick to your guns. If you are unsure at all, then maybe make a quick appearance in a public place where you have the option to walk away. Choose the path that you think is right for you, not everyone else.|||I can see your hurt feelings, but personally, if it was me, I would at least go see him. We have only one father in this lifetime, and I am sure that before you had this falling out, you guys shared many happy and fun times together. He is your dad after all. How would you feel if you never got to say goodbye to him? I lost my father unexpectedly when I was 16, and to this day still feel remorse over my last sentence to him.|||If any time would be a good time to put the past behind you now would be the time.

You may live to regret not seeing him and spending some time with him more than regretting that you did.

This is a really tough situation that you%26#039;re in, but my opinion is you leave pain and negative past in the past the best you can and go and see your dad before it%26#039;s to late.|||Well yeah what he did to you is NOT RIGHT whatsoever! You moved on with your life and everything. So i think since you%26#039;re the one who seems mature here, you should just go see him because after all he is your father. Put what happend before past you and just go and see him one last time. You might end up regreting it, but it won%26#039;t be in your consience later on for not seeing your father before he passed away.|||ok well it might pay at least ot give him a visit, i know it might be hard but in saying that i cant help but feel a bit hypocritical … my grandmother (who i used to see all of the time) and i had a big falling out, she lived in australia and i was over there for sport and i knew she was unwell and i didnt visit her even visit her even tho my dad was pretty much trying to force me to do so. she died and i dont regret not seeing her. it depends what y you fel out with your dad… think about it- was it really so bad that he deserves to be treated this bad ??

(just so u know my grandma ****** up everybodys life i dnt even know if ud be able to understand im not sure if i do )

all the best|||You know, you%26#039;ll regret this later. Very much.

Even though you%26#039;ve had (looking here) bad times with your father he still is your father. You wouldn%26#039;t exist without him.

%26quot;I never want to see you again%26quot; doesn%26#039;t help, because it%26#039;s probably his anger. When people are angry, they tend to say things that aren%26#039;t meant in the right way and aren%26#039;t meant to be said. So think carefully if you leave his deathbed.

He was in your life, you were in his. You%26#039;ll never see him again after he dies, and I%26#039;m sure going to him and sorting things out with him will make his last moment happy.

And everyone wants to be happy.|||the problem is if you are in fact wrong.there%26#039;s no going back on that buddy so why don%26#039;t you just go see him on his death bed after all its the least you can do the man did give you life.|||I think you will be sorry down the road if you don%26#039;t go and make peace with him. Swallow your pride and give your stepmother a call. She did make the first step towards making things %26quot;right%26quot; between you and your father. Life is too short for stuff like this and they%26#039;re realizing it a little late in life — but it%26#039;s not late for you.|||Your never going to get the chance to say goodbye more then once, if it were my real father id have to think twice because he was a really poor excuse for a dad. but I have a step father who had passed away and i never got the chance to say goodbye, either way think it over because you wont have this time ever again, good luck|||At the end of the day. He is your father.

As much as he has hurt or lied to you, your father is someone who cannot be replaced.

I%26#039;d say you should see him.|||To tell you the truth, i think you should go, and with dignity. it%26#039;s time to make up and forgive each other. maybe your father is feeling the same way you are.

Go to his death bed. he is your father, and you%26#039;ll be sorry when he%26#039;s passed away. you will never be able to say sorry or talk to him when he is gone. make sure you make a decision you won%26#039;t regret.

good luck.|||This is the LAST time you may ever see him. He%26#039;s your dad! You%26#039;re meant to love him, even though it%26#039;s hard at times. What about the future, when you wish you couldn%26#039;t done something for him before he died and was gone forever. You should see him, he%26#039;s your dad, he%26#039;s family, he needs you. Even if you don%26#039;t like him that much and he might not like you, it doesn%26#039;t mean he won%26#039;t be happy to see you. He loves you, it%26#039;s his job. He did the best he could to raise you, it was probably really hard on him too. But you should see him, it%26#039;s right and this could be the last time ever.|||You need to do what will be best for YOU! If you think that in the future you might feel guilty for not saying goodbye and having closure then by all means go. If you are merely going out of being guilted then don%26#039;t go. Your family members don%26#039;t know all the stuff about the relationship that you do so they can%26#039;t make this decision for you. I would probably at least call and say goodbye or send a card. You don%26#039;t want to wake up in 10 years and wish you had said some sort of goodbye.|||It%26#039;s not wrong under the circumstances. If you feel in your heart that you will not regret this choice years from now, then you should feel the confidence not to appear at his side. If other relatives are giving you a hard time, just remember their the ones that have the problem with it.

My grandfather has recently been diagnosed with prostate cancer, and is being treated with chemo, but the doctor says that it has already spread too far, and he could pass away in 2 weeks, or two years.. but no more than two years

im very upset because i love him very much, and we wont even be able to see me graduate school… also a bestfriend screwed me over, i feel that i am losing feelings for my boyfriend, and my parents are taking their grief out on me….

it seems like there is no where to turn, i just dont know what to do anymore…. any advice?

also, music helps me get through .. are there any songs that could relate?|||I don%26#039;t know any songs that can relate, but I am glad you have found something that does help you. I went through my Aunt dieing of lung cancer less than a year ago, it is hard on the family. But you also have to stop and think that they won%26#039;t be suffering anymore from what they are feeling right now. you have all my prayers and sympathy. Please take as many pictures as you are able to take and make a scrap book so you have memories of your grandfather. it is a nice thing to do that will take up some time and also give you something to do. It helps, I did that with my aunt. I have before pictures from when i was growing up till a year ago. Sorry to hear about your grandfather.|||I dont know if you a religious person but I say you should pray to god it helps also I know a perfect song its called crash by Gwen|||%26#039;100,000 Angels%26#039; by Bliss is a fantastic piece of music, which reminds you that you are not alone and there are angels looking after you at all times. As for practical advice, contact your local counselling service. Talking to a trained non-judgemental person can really help you to confront your grief and find strength from within.

well i e have this problem on issues i have about my daughter and my father . any ways my daughter is supposed to see her father every other weekend by supervised visits with his brothers and more. etc. my daughter now does not want nothing to do with him cause he calling her on the phone saying stupid sh.. to her. he owes money in child suporrt , he does not work. he is a dead beat father. has no life. he manuliptates my daughter on the phone i do not like at all . he is a sick bast…! i want him dead. what a jerk. and ***…. so i cannot believe that he does that to her. now my father has prostate cancer. and i email an brocher to my momyelled abt it and my mom yells at me for it. im worring about that sickness so my mom can read it from me. she thinks she will get junk mail because of that she blamed it on me cause i sent something to her. please help me|||im sorry babe , just get a lawyer . and pray to god , he will lead the way !|||You seem to have two distinct issues, which should be in two seperate questions.

If you have cause, and your daughter doesn%26#039;t want to have to continue to deal with her father, you%26#039;ll have to get the courts to revisit the visitation agreement.

You may need to get a restraining order that says he can%26#039;t contact her any more.

You%26#039;re unclear about what sorts of things he%26#039;s saying, so it%26#039;s hard to say.

But if he%26#039;s scaring her, or harassing her, or being abusive, then the law will likely be on your side.

What you say about your mom is really unclear. You emailed her a thing, and now she%26#039;s mad that she may be on a junk-mail list?

If you can%26#039;t explain to her that that%26#039;s not the case, you%26#039;ll have to wait until she sees she isn%26#039;t on lists — unless you actualy did get her on lists, which you should try to get her off of.

But it%26#039;s not at all clear what, exactly happened, or what%26#039;s wrong.

Your mom is worried and scared, so not in her right mind, so try not to let it get to you.

Take one thing, and deal with it; don%26#039;t worry about things you can%26#039;t control. Do what you can about things you can do something about.